I have
been pondering the problem with entitlement. It seems like everywhere we turn
people are entitled to have what they want. It’s not just a few people –
entitlement is like a cancer that is more corrosive than and widespread than
the HIV virus and less curable than the common cold. It is prevalent at the
very top of the bureaucracy that runs our democratic nation, and at the very
grassroots level of the same - in our own homes.
Yes –
this virus has infected some of us – and our children. Our BABIES have been
sickened by the virus of entitlement, and if we don’t first cure ourselves and
then help them, generations are going to be lost to the virus. Does this sound
dire? It is.
Kay
Wills Wyma writes about it in her book Cleaning House: A Mom's Twelve-Month Experimement to Rid Her
Home of Youth Entitlement. Wyma, mothering teens and pre-teens, realized
that she had no clue how to do so and turn out responsible non entitled young
adults. When one of her boys described the car he would most likely drive when
he got one – a luxury car which would apparently came them free of charge and insurance’d for life; she had to make a plan to
equip her kids with what they really
needed – responsible behavior and a healthy respect for work.
In
week one of the experiments, Wyma introduces cleaning up after yourself at
night, every night to her children – with a tangible, visible reward system
that was relevant to them: cash! Each month started with $30 in each cash jar. Every
day clothes were up off the floor and beds made, the person kept all the money that
was in the jar. If something was on the floor or the bed was unmade, that
person lost the money for that day. At the end of the month, you get to spend
what’s in your cash jar. Simple.
Next
she added sharing in family meal preparation. Each person got a day to prepare
family meals. The parents provided the ingredients with an agreed upon budget.
If the child decided to provide carryout for the family, the parents would
pitch in $10 for that meal. You have to
read the book to find out how this went. I will tell you, it is not as easy to
feed a family as people who don’t prepare meals believe! Each chapter talks about another task or activity added to develop character and responsibility.
This
book is excellent. I’m not biased because I am a blogger and Wyma first blogged
about her experience as a mother, with much of the results ending up in the
book! Okay, well maybe a little bit biased by that. But really, the book has a
wealth of wit, true knowledge and applicable exercises that may work with your
own family. Some of them are working for me, and some of them I’ve tweaked to
be relevant to my children, my family, my circumstances.
Wyma
is offering a real life opportunity to combat the virus of entitlement in the
age groups where it is most effective to do so – and in a result driven and
measurable platform. In the end, everybody walks away with an appreciation for
co-existing, communication, team work and responsibility. That is the opposite
of entitlement.
We
are having our bumps and stumbles trying to put into effect some of what I’ve
learned through Wyma’s writings – but I believe this is one of the most
effective ways to cure my family of the entitlement virus!
and at Blogging for Books - where you can rate it for me!
