That is only the half of it. The rest was pure work. I spent many years in overdrive working for my family, my job, my church,even my friends - but never focusing any specific dedication on myself - that it affected both my physical and mental health. I also had my relationship with God all wrong. I was working for it, when it was already established. All He wanted me to do was to love Him, and as a byproduct of that love, to love myself.
This week I am doing something for myself which is a little hard, but easier each day. I am in Aruba vacationing. Since international cellphone rates are ridiculous, it is basically guaranteed that I wont be calling my family a lot - I have to focus on me.
The first day I missed my kids like crazy. It helped that my daughter is also out of state; and my son has God, his dad, my mom and his aunts to take super good care of him. I missed my family and had random anxieties about whether or not they were alright. I practiced being in the moment and noticing the goodness of God all around me, and the beauty of this place.
When I focus that attention on so many other objectives I loose sight of the most important centric force of life and thusly, there is no center to my being. God is my centric force, drawing all things back to the center of me, whom He made fearfully and wonderfully.
That is what my trip to Aruba is about thus far - seeing and grasping the beauty of what God has done in nature, through nature, and naturally in me and for me. This is something I am doing for me - and it is amazing.
What have you done for yourself? Do you have a plan to do something soon?