Monday, June 27, 2011

Am I making Him a Momma's Boy?

One of my sisters fave thing to say to my 7 year old son is "Hey pansy boy," to which he answer "hey Auntie." Sometimes he catches her off guard and says "Hey pansy Auntie."

My older sister is gardening with Elijah's 7 year old help, when she points out a Daddy long leg to him. He immediately leaves the garden. She comes around to the patio and relays the story and tells him to "come on back out to the garden and don't be such a pansy".

Within the first awakening hour of any given day, my son has called my parental name at least 3 times....a minute. "Mom....Mom....Mom." Often, he doesn't even have a question or has forgotten what it is when I answer.

Recently, one of my husbands friends wanted to register Elijah to play football. He is coaching, and he wanted my son on the team. I declined. He suggested Elijah was a Mommas boy and I just wasn't ready for him to be out from under me. My son is not playing any organized sport for which I cannot be at every practice and game. He plays soccer and basketball.

Am I making him a Mommas boy? Is he going to be effeminate because he needs me too much? Is my baby a pansy? No less than Jesus was a Daddy's boy.

Listen, when a boy child grows up with his mom as the custodial parent, he is going to need her more. My son was born into a crumbling marriage. Because his parents serve a God who was good enough to oversee the dissolution of a mess, he grew through the divorce. He knows me as the person who is present through hurt knees, bumps in the night, one bed for all three of us nights, and solace in the storm nights. He knows me as the soother for all hurts, and the one who directs him to God who will answer all of our prayers.

He also knows me as the mother who surrounds him with men of valor who serve that same God. Listen, ladies. We who raise boys without constantly present fathers can help them grow into whole and valiant men, by providing for them what they need: real men to mirror and turn to in times of need.

God already knew there would be times when we would reach the end of our mothering and fathering would be necessary. That is why he said that HE would be a father to the fatherless. Let God be and everything will work out.

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