Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Under New Management

Most any mother can tell you that once you birth a child, your priorities change. They are reorganized, placing the child(ren) at the center of most decision making processes. This innate homing apparatus is ramped up times 100 when you get a divorce. I know I felt as if a horrible injustice had been done to my kids, and statistically they were now doomed to certain failures in life because I couldn't manage to make this marriage work. I am a books person, so I researched statistics, and started looking at the case studies on children of divorce who eventually defied statistics. How did they survive?
To sustain your children mentally, physically, socially; some changes to the schedule are in order, so priorities shift again. To sustain your economy, a lot of elements may change, including child care, work hours, school locations, even in which activities the custodial parent and children can and will be involved. There's a lifting of hands, to say the least. Prayer is never ceasing, if you hope to get any of it right. Let God arise and the enemy be scattered.

For a long while my major goal was adjusting with the greatest amount of success and progress and the least amount of damage. That included christian counseling, relocation, sustaining faith and participating in our faith community, taking on new writing ventures, a new school for my kids, and later on, dealing with some major medical issues for me.

All of this hinged on us depending on God for our direction, and learning time management from Gods point of view. My Dad used to tell me that sometimes God just has to lay you down to make you rest and let some things go, because you won't listen when he is talking to you in a still small voice. Read about Elijah in the bible if you don't know that God speaks in a still small voice. With all the things that were happening in our lives, all He wanted from us was simplicity in time management.
  1. Put Him first. Every morning, we pray together. We take the time to place God above our situations and circumstances and place our day back into His hands. I am the head of this household right now, so I have to teach my kids how to place God first. The simplest way to do this is to pray the way He taught the disciples and then to remember the second greatest commandment - to love my neighbor as I love myself. 
  2. Work out your own souls salvation - we daily learn and grow in grace. How can I do the things I know of in the Our Father and how can I love myself so that I can love my neighbor if I don't understand what that means? Study to show ourselves approved. Private christian schooling, constant learning at home, faith based fellowship, personal relationship with Christ.
  3. Stir up the gift within - We all have gifts. If we are doing something we love to do, our gift is most likely based in that area. God wants to use that gift to bless us, and to draw others to Him. It is a big deal for me to walk past fear and walk in my area of gifting not just to bless my church family, but to take care of my children and provide for my family. I had to work diligently on this, and because I was not, I had to experience some setbacks so that I could step forward. Don't get me wrong, God took care of us during those setbacks! He also realigned my vision so that I could learn how to use my gift more effectively.
  4. Remember Him - Worship Him in Spirit and in truth. It is awesome to worship God. What more amazing rush has ever been had then to be in true worship? What is worship? Showing God your love for Him with your whole being and Spirit, in truth. 
Once our time management was revamped, there was little to no time left for some of the things we would have wasted our time on before. Our thinking was realigned. What we put into ourselves is different, so what we get out is different.

Shortly into this process, I found that my children have some very specific food allergies and reactions and removed certain foods from their diet, and from mine by happenstance. Their moods, behavior and school performance were affected almost immediately, for the better. I gained an improvement in my health, as well.

The quality time we spent together changed. We have always spent a lot of  time together, but the nature of that time changed. We have become a more cohesive family based on the nature of Godly precepts and grounded by our experience.

My children and I are not perfected, by far, but He is perfecting this work which He has begun in us.

I am still human, I still have the gamut of emotions. I am angry at times because of what I feel like my babies are missing with their other parent. I pray through that and God reminds me of His promises toward them. I run into walls, but I know how to pray about a situation so that the window in the wall opens; or the wall crumbles.

What I know is that when your life changes, you have to change with it or you will be lost. Do something a new way. Since you have probably tried your own way, try God's. A year and 7 months ago I walked away from everything I had with two kids and some clothes. I am absolutely sure God is able.

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