I was interested, since I struggle in this area. Four of us were game, and so the quiz began. She told us to give ourselves a point for each of the behaviors we could assent to having done for ourselves. She read through a page and a half of 2-3 line descriptive behaviors, like get your hair done; get a manicure or pedicure; take time to do (a, b, c) that brings you pleasure. Not because the person you are with likes to do it, but specifically because it brings you pleasure.
I can tell you that I only used one hand to total up at the end of the quiz. There were several things that made me reconsider my self professed freedom. God tells us not to be entangled by bondage again, and here I am entangled in imaginary bondage. I do not do things that bring pleasure to me, but find myself still making sure that whatever the event, those around me are content, happy, fulfilled at the end of the day.
I don't take care of the small things that will make me a much better care taker in the long run, because I harbor a sense of guilt about anything that brings me pleasure. Even when nobody is watching, I feel so incredibly guilty about pleasurable activities that I would rather sit frozen, unable to act, than get my hair done, or get a massage which would help my fibromyalgia. That guilt is based in some old stuff, baggage that is not even mine, and I intend to give it back and move on.
My quiz results got me wondering how many of you neglect yourselves in this area, and how it affects you? I can see how it extends to my relationships, but that's for another time. Right now I have to go take care of some things. But I want to bless somebody through a giveaway. Maybe it will be you.
All you have to do is enter for the chance to win a copy of
the Sacred Pampering Principles
Debrena Gandy is a motivational author, speaker and performance coach, among many other things. Visit her on facebook if you'd like to know more.
I rarely get anything like that done just because I feel to guilty to enjoy it if I spend money on myself.
ReplyDeleteBrooke - that is exactly what happens to me. The principle is that you are going to be a much better care taker if you take good - meaning special, intimate, pampering, care of yourself, down to your very soul. It is hard to soak in. Baby steps. Ha.
DeleteI hardly ever do anything for myself. Even when we have the extra money, I will spend it on my kids or on my boyfriend before I spend it on myself. At tax time, I sold my Kindle for $50. I wanted my nails done, and would have liked to do a few other things, but instead, I took my boyfriend's daughter and spent more money on her than I did myself. I did come away with a set of nails, but also an empty pocket when it was done, and felt horrible that I hadn't bought my kids anything.... Guilty.
ReplyDeleteI do the same thing. I hardly take the time to do something nice for myself and when I do, I feel guilty about it. I am one who wants to make sure everyone is happy and get things that they want before I think about myself. Sometimes I have to talk myself into something that I know I deserve and not feel selfish.
ReplyDeleteSame here. I don't do much pampering. It's a rare occurrence in my world!
ReplyDeleteI rarely take time for myself. Recently, my cousin and I have been having "girls night" where we go to dinner without our kids. That's as close to pampered as I get...lol
ReplyDeleteI feel a lot of quilt when I pamper myself or get a quite moment. I know I need these moments/times to take care of myself, I really need this book!
ReplyDeleteIm learning to put myself first.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to do, and hard to maintain. I have physical tension in my body sometimes and have to remind myself of my priorities.
DeleteThis is useful post. Good Job!
ReplyDeleteLet me explain 1st that as a woman who was married for 26 year whose husband was taken from me. I looked around and our children were grown and he was gone and I needed help figuring out who I was. This book really took me back to a place before the world, responsibilities and expectations rushed in. It open my eyes to the difference between having fun and pampering myself . That was the 1st word of wisdom God sent me. The next messages was "a unfed soul dies". So, I am on a journey back to me.
ReplyDeleteThat is a great point you make - the difference between having fun and pampering yourself. Good point.
DeleteI'm AWFUL at it. I never do anything just for me because I take pleasure in it. That's sad. I need to work on that.
ReplyDeleteNo, there has been a lot of stress here lately and I've sadly not been pampering myself at all. It's something I need to work on!
ReplyDeleteWonderful ,very strong points in the post a bove.
ReplyDelete