Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Go Swiftly, Maria, into your future

When I first heard the news of Maria Shriver's separation from Arnold Schwarzenegger. I was momentarily shocked. This was not a couple I ever considered headed for break up. Initially, I was surprised that these two were in a relationship, but their grace and symmetry wooed me and the rest of America. They became a poster-child case for opposites that do attract and a love that makes both parties greater. This was one for the books. What could have caused it? Why would it happen? It took a few days for that part of the bombshell to hit the media.

Arnold Schwarzenegger’s decade old affair with a staff member which produced a child, now aged 10, has me thinking out loud. If you haven’t heard some tidbit about this matter, you must be under a rock. Stick your head out for a second. 
Arnold Schwarzenegger makes a statement about the separation between he and Maria Shriver
The divorce industry means a lot to our country. It has ramifications way beyond one household at a time. Our legal system is good at teaching people how to get divorced. Wouldn't it be great if somebody taught men how to stay faithful or not get married, thereby promoting the sanctity of marriage? 

None of us can know whether the Schwarzeneggers’ relationship can withstand this betrayal.  What dictates the quality of life after this moment is the manner in which the whole affair is handled. We don't know the dynamics at play because we are not privy to their most intimate personal relationship. Nor should we have that license.  Yet we speculate.  

Some suggest that Shriver should not leave the marriage. The child born out of the affair with a staffer is 10 years old, and he made a mistake. If he hadn’t told it, she still would not know. Men will be men and boys will be boys.

Is there validity here? Look how many marriages end in divorce. The divorce rate was 3.4 divorces per 1000 population in 2009 (Divorce Statistics and Study Blogs). While that is fewer than the loudly touted 50% (propaganda), according to an ongoing poll in Divorce Magazine, the biggest reason both parties cite for divorce is infidelity. Why should Maria be any different from another woman, ending a marriage because her husband is a cheater and a liar? This 
was not the first time the Terminator had been accused of straying outside of the gate.  Any person who has the proclivity to engage in sexual activity with another while in a covenant (contractual), monogamous commitment will do it more than once. At this point, Maria Shriver’s mind may be besieged by the idea that the Terminator is a terminal cheater, and a prolific liar. 

Consider the biblical instruction that some men should not marry; some men will never father a child; while still others need to marry. In my mind, those that need to marry are not the ones who fall in love, but the ones who think having sex is next to breathing oxygen. And they need to be satisfied with the woman they have.  Maybe money, power and ...well you know the rest, went to Arnold's heads just like they do many other men. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. 

Next consider the number of children born outside of an established marriage, bastardized by the instant gratification of a dishonest man. Think about the burden on the wife to maintain a constructive family life if she stays in the marriage. She now has a whole other family to incorporate into her once simple lifestyle. She will have to be in relationship with the child and subsequently, with the whore. I mean the woman with whom the indignant ass - I mean, husband cheated. That's a lot to ask one woman to bear, while the man benefits from the complete arrangement.

The mistress will be vilified in more places than this post, and even more so because American’s love Maria Shriver and the Kennedy family et al. Already, questions are flying about why she was able to keep her job, with the full knowledge that she was raising the child of the Governor. How humiliating and hurtful it must be for Shriver to realize she has been looking at her husband’s concubine on a near daily basis for 10 years.

When Schwarzenegger finally made his own statement, days after the initial announcement, Shriver was not standing next to him holding his hand to show the nation she approved of his debauchery.  It riles me to see the wives of sports figures, politicians’ and actors suffering through the degradation of the public witness to their humiliating betrayal and sometimes, sheer stupidity, standing by this errant corrupt man. 

That hot mess just solidifies the right of men to play and not pay. Bull slobber. While I am not encouraging any woman to leave her husband, because marriage is sacred, I do want women to consider themselves. Steve Harvey said men treat you the way you allow them to treat you. If we stop allowing childish behavior to define adulthood by accepting the consequences of a cheating spouse, maybe we can teach a new generation a new way of living in a committed relationship.

I'm just thinking out loud. What are your thoughts on the matter?

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