Monday, May 21, 2012

Do Something Irregular for You

In the last two weeks I have said goodbye to someone I love, reconnected with family and friends I have missed an incredible amount, watched my babies reunite with cousins they have not seen in over two years like it was just yesterday the last time, and flown to another country.
That is only the half of it. The rest was pure work. I spent many years in overdrive working for my family, my job, my church,even my friends - but never focusing any specific dedication on myself - that it affected both my physical and mental health. I also had my relationship with God all wrong. I was working for it, when it was already established. All He wanted me to do was to love Him, and as a byproduct of that love, to love myself.
This week I am doing something for myself which is a little hard, but easier each day. I am in Aruba  vacationing. Since international cellphone rates are ridiculous, it is basically guaranteed that I wont be calling my family a lot - I have to focus on me.
The first day I missed my kids like crazy. It helped that my daughter is also out of state; and my son  has God, his dad, my mom and his aunts to take super good care of him. I missed my family and had random anxieties about whether or not they were alright. I practiced being in the moment and noticing the goodness of God all around me, and the beauty of this place.
This whole situation is a testament to how insanely difficult it is for my generation and our society to realize what takes priority and what should be simple and true. There was never a time when procreation meant making children need us every waking moment, nor any other person, place or thing desired or deserving that kind of attention. However, it is normal for children, jobs, activities, etc., to require that much time and attention in today's world.

When I focus that attention on so many other objectives I loose sight of the most important centric force of life and thusly, there is no center to my being. God is my centric force, drawing all things back to the center of me, whom He made fearfully and wonderfully.

That is what my trip to Aruba is about thus far - seeing and grasping the beauty of what God has done in nature, through nature, and naturally in me and for me. This is something I am doing for me - and it is amazing.
What have you done for yourself? Do you have a plan to do something soon?

1 comment:

  1. Taking time for yourself- love that and enjoy!