Friday, February 24, 2012

Close the Door

Divorce is not just an end. It also represents the beginning of a newly defined relationship of a love experienced by the grace of God, and we can move forward into new relationships; love with more intensity and more fervor. We are more experienced now at how to love. Healing is the process of walking through the hurt of disentangling from the chords that bind us together in unity. Going through healing we can realize more about the vastness of God's love, and the capacity of our beings to love repeatedly, in quantity and in quality.

Getting through divorce involves taking good care of yourself.  Forgiveness is a major part of this care and of major importance in the healing process. I say this often - because forgiveness is everything. You have to forgive yourself, your ex spouse, and any other person you harbor unforgiveness toward, in order to achieve healing.  However, I also want to emphasize how much we benefit from personal care during our healing process. 

Whenever we suffer a traumatic loss, it is only natural that our defenses are down - everything from our immunity to disease to our emotional stability is at risk.  Also, you are getting divorced for reason(s), so you might experience feelings of inadequacy or question your self worth. It's the most important time to make sure you take care of you and get the door closed on this episode of your life.

There is so much that we can do to take care of ourselves, and I encourage you to at least explore the available options.

  • Find a counselor who is licensed and trained to help you sort it all out. You can do this through your church home, or through your area mental health organization. Most work organizations have a discrete mental health component of health insurance that will guide you in finding a counselor who is right for yourself and/or your children. Take that step - you will be surprised how much it helps to have guidance from a trained outside source.
  • Start a new physical routine, even if it is just walking. The physicality of that will energize you, give your mind processing time, and provide your body with much needed  exercise. A few weeks of even short walks, during 15 and 20 minute work breaks, will provide you visible results and mental clarity. 
  • Talk to your doctor. Let your family physician know that you are going through a difficult transition, especially if you are having marked emotional or physical difficulties. Your health is a total package, and your physician will have valuable information and resources.
  • Write it out. Keep a journal or a video log. A great way to get all of those thoughts out of your head is to put them down on paper or record them. Journaling gives a great sense of clarity. You might even start blogging! 
  • Pursue the experiences that bring relaxation and clarity.  Read your bible more, pray, practice yoga. Practice wholeness lifestyle activities that have healing qualities.  

Local to Columbus?  VITALITY offers  holistic tools to relax, unwind, refocus and recharge. You can even schedule your appointment on line, and though therapeutic massage, health counseling, meditation or natural medicine this center for well being plans to get you back to complete and total wholeness.

1 comment:

  1. Sounds like a great plan. I am fortunate to still be married after nearly 18 years, but I feel for those who have had to suffer the loss of a spouse through divorce. Thanks for sharing.

    Dropping by from Winter Blast of Cash!